Christmas is Seriously Weird

 How do you get your Xmas pressies – by smacking a log with a stick, from a gift giving witch,  or from a Xmas stocking?   Ours is boring - we put our big presents under the tree and the smaller ones go into a Christmas stocking.

In our house we have one strict rule: NO presents opened before Xmas Day – even if you know what you’re getting.  The gifts were given out by Head of House (Mum) on Xmas morning as soon as we woke—poor Mum; but she went back to bed - we didn’t even realize, we were too busy playing. 

History

Christian Xmas giving evolved from the Three Wise Men’s (frankincense, gold, myrrh) offerings for the baby Jesus.  Each gift has a specific meaning

• Frankincense is a perfume used in Jewish worship and, as a gift, it showed that people would worship Jesus.
• Gold is associated with Kings and Christians believe that Jesus is the King of Kings.
• Myrrh is a perfume anointed on dead bodies to make them smell nice and, as a gift, it showed that Jesus would suffer and die.

Since then gift-giving has, for many people, become the central aspect of Christmas.  And certainly for children it’s all about the pressies.  In Australia and the UK and the USA most often presents are left under the Christmas tree but other countries have evolved a variety of fascinating ways to deliver the gifts.

In Catalonia from December 8th, Caga Tió (a wooden log) is covered with a blanket (so that he doesn’t catch a cold) and ‘fed’ orange peel and turrón (a type of nougat) every evening.  From December 8 Caga Tió is, beaten with a stick to encourage him to “drop his food’.  Then someone reaches under his blanket to retrieve his pooping candies, nuts and such.  Caga Tió  gives one last push to reveal an onion, a head of garlic or a salt herring.  His droppings are not for one person but shared communally.  Wow there’s a Christmas gift.  But today most often the last gift is a large one hidden under his blanket.

While beating him the family sing songs such as

caga tió (poop log)
caga torró (poop turrón)
avellanes i mató (hazelnuts and cottage cheese)
si no cagues bé (if you don’t poop well)
et daré un cop de bastó. (I’ll hit you with a stick.)
caga tió!" (poop log!)

It is one of the strangest customs – so, what does it mean?  Does the smacking with a stick and its subsequent reward reflect the punishment and reward so inherent in the Christmas spirit ie naughty don’t get gifts but nice do.  And of course, the scatological element – well I’ll leave that to Freud.  If you don’t believe me – here is a youtube video of this custom.

Another scatological aberration is  "El Caganer” (“the crapper” or "the shitter").  He (now shes are

included) is included in the nativity scene but outside - he wears peasant dress including the Catalan red cap and has his/her pants down showing his rear; he is defecating.  (yes the statues are explicit--see the pictgure opposite).  The statues are sold in markets and are very popular.  Nowadays they often are of celebrities.   Why?  Is he there as a reminder of our shared humanity;  as a symbol of fertility; as a representative of everyperson?  

If you're in Italy around November then you're likely to see broomstick wriding witches hanging for sale in the market places.  I wondered what they were for and was told the legend of La Befana.   La Befana the ugly, broom-flying Good Witch of Christmas gives gifts. On the night of January 5, Befana flies over the rooftops on her broom, and brings gifts to the good children, coal for the bad ones. These days the 'coal' is a crunchy black candy you buy from street-corner carts. In return, Roman children leave her a gift of soft ricotta cheese, since she has hardly any teeth.  Now why coal - clearly it is the dregs of the fireplace and probably the least valuable thing in the house, also black typically represents evil.  So I guess people had to watch out for sooty handed children to know who was naughty and who was nice.  [According to legend, the Wise Men asked her for directions during their journey to Bethlehem, but she was too busy with housework to help or join them.  After the Wise Men continued on their way, she had a change of heart and went out searching for them to no avail.  Every year since, on that same night, La Befana hops on her broom and fills children’s stockings with gifts in the hopes that she’ll finally find Baby Jesus].  

Green Pickle (Germany)

Ceramic pickle is tucked away in a Christmas tree in a hard-to-see spot.  The first child to find the pickle on Christmas morning gets a special gift and good luck all the next year. [Apparently this is more urban legend than reality according to my German friends].   

They also believe that it is the Christkind who gives presents.  The Christkind is a sprite-like child, usually depicted with blonde hair and  wings. Martin Luther intended it to be a reference to the incarnation of  Jesus as an infant. Sometimes the Christ Child is, instead of the infant Jesus, interpreted as a specific angel bringing the presents, as it appears in some processions together with an image of little Jesus Christ.  Here’s one person’s memories

The Christkind brings the children gifts on Christmas eve. Parents tell their children that the Christkind won't come if they try to spot him. Sometimes they will secretly ring a bell to announce the arrival or departure of the Christkind (I remember my parents doing this!! On Christmas eve one year, our doorbell rang, and I went running to open it in hope of seeing the Christkindl, but when I opened it, no one was there... But a present was waiting on the doormat! I thought it was amazing, and to this day I don't know how my parents did it. But the fact that I still remember it just proves how magical a thing the Christkind really is). 

Krampus -  is a beast thought ot punish misbehaving children in the Alpine countries such as Austria,

Hungary, Slovenia, Croatia etc.  He captures children in his sack and carries them to his lair. Today men dress up as Krampus on evening of December 5th and they roam the streets scaring people.  He has many names and is part of folklore in many European countries.  He is clearly the antithesis of Father Xmas and would no doubt scare the bejesus out of many children. He even has his own, equally intimidating Xmas cards.  ;If I was European I would be the best child evah.

France - galette des rois (flat pastry cake of the kings - King Cake) celebrates Epiphany (January 6).  Usually a bean (fèvre), considered a sign of fertility, or alternatively a tiny figurine, is hidden in the cake. The youngest member of the family hides under the table and chooses in turn who receives each share of the cake. The person who finds the bean is crowned king or queen for the day.  See picture below for the cake and the wee items placed in the cake. Sounds a little like the threepences we used to find in our Christmas puddings. 

Christmas Stocking - The Christmas stocking custom is derived from the Germanic/Scandinavian figure Odin.  Children would place their boots, filled with carrots, straw or sugar near the chimney for Odin's flying horse, Sleipnir, to eat. Odin would reward those children for their kindness by replacing Sleipnir's food with gifts or candy.  In some European countries boots are still used instead of Christmas stockings.

There is also another legend that claims that the Christmas stocking came from a poor man who had three daughters and he worried what would happen to them after he died – he couldn’t afford dowries.  (And thought they would become prostitutes).  St Nicholas heard the villagers talking and threw three bags of gold through an open window and one landed in a stocking.  The girls were able to be married and lived happily ever after.

Mexico - On Christmas day children are blindfolded and taken to try and break a decorated clay piñata that dangles and swings at the end of a rope. Once the piñata has been broken, the children clamber to recover the candy that was inside the piñata. Those children who have been good also on January 6th receive a gift from the Three Wise Men.

Hanukkah is also a time for giving and receiving presents and gifts are often given on each night.  In 2013, Hanukkah is from in the evening of Wednesday, 27th November until the evening of Thursday, 5th December.

Some other rather strange Xmas Rituals

In Japan it has become commonplace for Japanese to celebrate Xmas with Kentucky Fried Chicken dinner and Christmas cake.  A shortcake with whipped cream and strawberries.  Now that's my kind of Christmas cake. 




Santa's Home - FinLand

In the evening there is a knocking at the door, Joulupukki Santa has arrived. unfortunately papa misses his arrival because he had to go do the evening chores. Joulupukki boldly asks," Are there any good children in the house".Of course there always is, and Santa never misses handing out presents. The children love to sing Joulupukki Laula or Peteir Punakuono (Rudolph) or other such songs to him, before he leaves to visit the rest of the world.  (Info from here)

When - Christmas isn't always on 25th December!

Epiphany - The earliest presents are opened is on St. Nicholas' Eve on December 5th when children in Holland receive their presents. On St. Nicholas' Day (6th December) children in Belgium, Germany, Czech Republic and some other European countries open some of their presents. The latest presents are opened on January 6^th. 

Other Gift Givers

Afghanistan: Baba Chaghaloo

Albania: Babadimri

Armenia: Gaghant Baba / Kaghand Papa (Father Christmas or Father New Year)

Austria: Christkind (a little angel like person)

Azerbaijan: Şaxta baba (Grandfather Frost)

Belgium: Sinterklaas/St. Niklaas (Flemish) or Saint Nicholas (Walloon) & Père Noël (Father Christmas)

Bosnia and Herzegovina: Djeda Mraz (Grandfather Frost)

Brazil: Papai Noel (Father Christmas) & Bom Velhinho (Good Old Man)

Bulgaria: Дядо Коледа (Grandfather Christmas)

Chile: Viejito Pascuero (Christmas old man)

China: Sheng dan lao ren (Traditional: 聖誕老人, Simplified: 圣诞老人; means Old Christmas Man)

Costa Rica: Niño dios (Child God, meaning Jesus) & Colacho (another name for St. Nicholas)

Croatia: Djed Božičnjak (Grandfather Christmas)

Czech Republic: Svatý Mikuláš (St. Nicholas)

Denmark: Julemanden (Christmas Man)

Ecuador: Papa Noel

Egypt: Baba Noël

Estonia: Jõuluvana (Yule Elder)

Ethiopia: Amharic: Yágena Abãt (Christmas Father)

Finland: Santa Claus (well he does live in Lapland in Finland!) or Joulupukki

France: Père Noël (Father Christmas)

Georgia: თოვლის ბაბუა, თოვლის პაპა / Tovlis Babua, Tovlis Papa (Snow Grandfather)

Germany: Weihnachtsmann (Christmas Man) & Christkind (a little angel like person)

Greece: Aghios Vassilis / Άγιος Βασίλης (Saint Basil)

Holland/Netherlands: Sinterklaas (St. Nicholas) & Kerstman (Christmas Man)

Hungary: Mikulás (Nicholas) & Télapó (Old Man Winter)

Iceland: Jólasveinn (Yule Man) & Jólasveinarnir (The Yule Lads)

India: Hindi: Christmas Baba, Urdu: Baba Christmas (Father Christmas), Telugu: Thatha (Christmas old man), Tamil: Christmas Thaathaa, Marathi: Natal Bua (Christmas Elder Man)

Indonesia: Sinterklas

Iraq: Baba Noel / Vader Kersfees

·  Ireland: San Nioclás' (Saint Nicholas) & Daidí na Nollag (Father Christmas)

·  Italy: Babbo Natele (Santa Claus) or La Befana (an old woman)

·  Japan: サンタさん、サンタクロース santa-san (Mr Santa) & Hoteiosho (A Japanese god of good fortune - not really related to Christmas)

·  Latvia: Ziemassvētku vecītis (Christmas old man)

·  Lithuania: Senis Šaltis (Old Man Frost) & Kalėdų Senelis (Christmas Grandfather)

·  Lebanon: Baba Noël

·  Macedonia: Дедо Мраз / Dedo Mraz

·  Malta: San Niklaw (St. Nicholas)

·  Mexico: El Niñito Dios (baby Jesus), Los Reyes Magos (The Three Wise Men) & Santo Clós (Santa Claus)

·  Norway: Julenissen (Santa Claus) or 'Nisse' (Small Gnomes)

·  Pakistan: Christmas Baba

·  Peru: Papá Noel

·  Philippines: Santa Klaus

·  Poland: Swiety Mikolaj (St. Nicholas)

·  Portugal: Pai Natal (Father Christmas)

·  Romania: Moş Crăciun (Old Man Christmas), Moş Nicolae (Old Man Nicholas), Moş Gerilă (Old Man Frost)

·  Russia: Дед Мороз / Ded Morez (Grandfather Frost) or Babouschka (an old woman - although this more 'western' than actually Russian!)

·  Serbia: Дедa Мрaз / Deda Mraz (Grandfather Frost), Божић Бата / Božić Bata (Christmas Brother)

·  Slovenia: Sveti Miklavž or Sveti Nikolaj (Saint Nicholas) / Božiček or Dedek Mraz (Grandfather Winter); Božiček on December 24 and Dedek Mraz on December 31!

·  South Africa: Sinterklaas / Kersvader

·  South Korea: 산타 클로스 (santa kullosu), 산타 할아버지 (Santa Grandfather)

·  Spain: Los tres Reyes Mages (The Three Magic King / Magi) & Papá Noel (Father Christmas); in Catalonia he's known as Tió de Nadal

·  Sri Lanka: Naththal Seeya

·  Sweden: Jultomten (Santa) & Nissar / Tomte (Christmas Gnomes/Elves)

·  Switzerland: Samichlaus (St. Nicholas)

·  Syria: Baba Noël

·  Turkey: Noel Babal (Father Christmas)

·  Ukraine: Svyatyy Mykolay (St. Nicholas) & Дід Мороз / Did Moroz

·  United Kingdom: Father Christmas (inter-changeable with Santa Claus), Wales: Siôn Corn (Chimney John)

·  USA: Santa Claus, Hawaii: Kanakaloka

·  Uzbekistan: Qor bobo (Grandfather Snow - more related to New Year's Eve than Christmas)

·  Venezuela: San Nicolás (St. Nicholas) & Niño Jesús (Baby Jesus)

·  Vietnam: Ông già Noel (Christmas old man)

Complexity of gift giving

Some say giver gets more out of it – so where’s the proof?  Buying presents for your pet – without possibility of reciprocity.  To see someone with something they truly appreciate it is reward in itself. 

Dr Who???

Well it’s the 50^th anniversary of Doctor Who.  And if you are reading this you must have at least heard of the long-running BBC show.  I admit that I’m an intermittent watcher and remember the show mainly for its cheesy (now) earlier beginnings.  Here are some quick facts;  7 series, 798 episodes (97 missing*), 12 doctors (Peter Capaldi announced August 2013),  nearly 40 companions (male, female, robitc dog), 3 main adversaries are daleks (machine-type cyborgs), cybermen (cyborgs), and the Master (a Time Lord). 28 composers of music, 1 TARDIS (Time and Relative Dimension in Space), New Zealand was the first overseas country to air the programme (Sept 1964), currently more than 75 countries air the show, one of the top 5 grossing titles for BBC, 2 Dr Who films, Torchwood spin off – (anagram of Dr Who), fans known as Whovians. 

Basically the series traces the Doctor’s adventures throughout time and space. Presumably he is called “Doctor” because of his vast intelligence; though he has demonstrated medical knowledge.  He is an “alien” from the Planet Gallifrey but is part human. His ship/box the TARDIS has become a commonplace word for a place that is much larger inside than it is outside.  By his reckoning he is about 1200 years old (“A Town Called Mercy”); however, writers maintain he is about (900 years old) and is regenerated each time he dies;  each regeneration mirrors the time in which he is created.  

Taken from Wikipedia

But what most interests me is The Doctor.  He reflects the time in which he is created and his clothes closely mirror his personality.  Here’s a summary of the Drs so far

1	William Hartnell (63-66)	Edwardian dress, older	Stern, patronising, distant
2	Patrick Troughton (66-69)	Scruffy	Energetic, clever
3	Jon Pertwee (70-74)	Romantic, ruffled shirt, cape, dandy	Suave, Bondish, technophile, physical
4	Tom Baker (74-81)	Looooong scarf and hat	Unpredictable, off-beat humour, moral philosopher
5	Peter Davison (81-84)	Designer cricket gear. celery stick, question mark	Boyish, warm, team leader
6	Colin Baker (84-86)	Colourful coat of many colours/patterns	Outlandish, egotist, volatile
7	Sylvester McCoy (87-89)	Question mark vest & umbrella, upturned hat	Magician, showman, vaudevillian
8	Paul McGann (96-	Elegant, velvet coat	Amnesiac, kissable
9	Christopher Eccleston (2005)	Punkish/gothic; black jeans, leather jacket	Intense, darker, brooding,  suffering
10	David Tennant (05-10)	Popstar, long coat, pinstripe suite, askew tie, converse sneakers	Cheeky, humorous
11	Matt Smith	Bow tie, tweedy jackets, looks like contemp Sherlock	Brash, lively, violent, unaware, Machiavellian
12	Peter  Capaldi

Sue Perkins

There was much speculation about the possibility of a female doctor in 2013;  especially after a hint in “The Doctor’s Wife”.  Many celebrities/actors were postulated as contenders, Catherine Tate, Heather Peace, Billie Piper, Joanna Lumley, Helen Mirren, Sue Perkins, Tilda Swinton.  It’s interesting to note the breadth in ages—they would all bring something wonderful to the tole.  My personal favourite – Joanna Lumley….or what about Judi Dench?  Much of the speculation reveals more about the speculators and their conception of what is the essence of The Doctor – beauty, brains, brawn, personality, style?  As television is a visual medium, looks are important and so it's interesting to note that the females proposed are slim and attractive--how much is acting ability considered?  What about ethnicity - so far all of the doctors have been human, white and British.  It comes down to the writer's vision  of course – how will a female Doctor interpret the contemporary world and the Doctor’s/show’s philosophy?

Helen Mirren 

On that note I can’t resist ending with some of my fave quotes from the recent series

“We’re all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?”
“900 years of time and space, and I’ve never been slapped by someone’s mother.”
“You want weapons? We’re in a library! Books! The best weapons in the world!”

Cheers til next time,

Toni

*Aside: missing episodes:  97 of 253 of first 6 years missing (mainly years 1 and 2) when BBC wiped or destroyed