Get Rich Quick Schemes – from The Honeymooners to South Park

"This isn't just another one of those get rich quick schemes. This scheme is guaranteed to get us rich... and quick!!"

Marge: "You're going to make your money from grease?"
Homer: "Nooooo, through savings and wise investments... OF COURSE WITH GREASE!!" (The Simpsons, “Lard of the Dance”)

I am writing a chapter for my new book Representations of Business in Popular Culture – this chapter came about because I have become increasingly interested in the role of finance in everyday life.  In fact, I have noticed over the past two/three years that money and finance have become more user-friendly;  podcasts such as NPR’s  PlanetMoney are typical.   It seems that the rise and fall of financial markets spurs the media to create shows that capture this mood--it seems only yesterday that Paul Clitheroe was telling us HOW to invest our money.  Whatever happened to him?

Anyway as president of the Australian Popular Culture Association (Popcaanz) I noticed that there was interest in food, clothes and religion but little academic interest in money.  So I decided it was time to explore how money and business are portrayed on telly – last week I considered how the downturn in the economy has inspired shows such as Recipes to Riches.

One of my earliest television memories is of Fred Flintstone working in his garage trying to create a product that would rival Cactus Cola.  For reasons unknown, I thought it must be a marvellous thing to be able to spend hours ‘playing’ and then potentially earn $1 million dollars.  I didn’t know then that Fred Flintstone wasn’t the first television character with dreams of being a millionaire. But my fascination with the get-rich-quick scheme continues.

So I analysed four of television’s most popular prime time television shows — The Honeymooners (1955-56), The Flintstones (1960-1966), The Simpsons (1989-) and South Park (1997-).  I chose these shows because when I was writing a book on South Park, these were the shows that are most as  four of (arguably) the most popular prime time family sitcoms.  Google get-rich-quick-scheme and television, you get Ralph Kramden (The Honeymooners).  From Ralph it is a quick step to Fred Flintstone and Homer Simpson.  Eric Cartman has the same characteristics as Ralph, Fred and Homer:  he’s brash, loud, aggressive and has a penchant for money making ventures. Get-rich-quick plotlines have changed considerably since 1950s--proving that television shows really do reflect the culture in which they are written.

(BTW for episodes of The Honeymooners search YouTube; for The Flintstones search on Daily Motion)

What is a Get Rich Scheme?

There is no such thing as a get rich scheme.  Like many other catch phrases, ie reality tv, the phrase sounds great, but it is a misnomer. A character might win $1million or even inherit $1million but this isn’t a get-rich-quick scheme.  Get-rich-quick suggests that little work has to be done and the money comes virtually overnight AND a scheme is something that is plotted and planned, not something that just happens. 

After watching all available episodes of the four shows (yes it has taken me months of television viewing), I created a typology that covers the six basic ‘schemes’

1)      Capitalise on a talent – win a cookery contest, a singing contest,

2)      Increase work income  -  get a raise, change jobs, take a second job

3)      Make a creative product – write a song or a jingle or a slogan, invent a new cola or pizza

4)      Entrepreneurship – discover a market niche and create a service for that niche

5)      Run a business – restaurant, franchise, renovate houses or something that is already established

6)      Miscellaneous – use mortgage equity line to create ‘wealth’, sue someone, buy and sell stocks and shares. 

The first five are particular relevant and variations of all of them have been employed by all four shows in one form or another---generally the form changes depending upon the decade.  So let’s go through them one at a time. 

Talent – the character can cook or sing and therefore enters a contest in the hopes of winning a large amount of money. Ralph appears on a quiz show in the hope of winning the top prize; Wilma enters a baking competition to win $100000.  Homer was part of a barbershop quartet (surely he’s not THAT old) that won a grammy and made bucket loads of money (that seems to have mysteriously disappeared).  Cartman starts a boy band because that’s the fastest route to a million bucks today.  Humour is created by the character’s failure.

Increased income  -  now this isn’t really a get rich QUICK scheme but it offers a sudden increase in family income.  Asking the boss for a raise is a common ploy for Fred and Ralph; they both take second jobs as janitors. Wilma and Betty work at home, so they rent rooms to boost income. Homer is way lazier than Fred and Ralph (as can be seen on tv) but he does take an extra job to pay for Lisa’s Pony;  however, his real answer is to get a better job. Something Ralph never tries and Fred does rarely;  Fred and Ralph hate their bosses, but they fear losing their jobs more.  Homer has had nearly 200 jobs in 20 years. He doesn’t fear unemployment at all – a particularly contemporary response--apparently there is always a job.  Some of his jobs have appeared (or seem to have appeared after the Kramden and Flintsones

bounty hunter

ordained minister specialising in gay marriages

blogger

paparazzi photographer

Cartman doesn’t have a job per se but he ‘works’ as a clairvoyant for the South Park police – and receives $100 for each correct arrest (“Cartman’s Incredible Gift”). 

Make a creative product – this is really a plot device that is steeped in 1950s culture.  Ralph tries to create lo-cal pizza and glow-in-the-dark wall paper.  The growing entertainment industry provides more opportunities:  Ralph and Fred write songs because the pop music industry had discovered teenagers as a marketing category and increased merchandising (can you imagine that before WW2 there was no such term as teenager).  Anyone remember Beatles wigs etc?  (Hoagy Carmichael does warn Fred that only 1 in 5,000 songs becomes a hit “The Songwriters”).  Also the burgeoning world of advertising melded with television to create a space where amateurs believed they could write a slogan or a jingle and make a fortune. 

Both Homer and Cartman also believe that the music industry offers quick money: Homer made a fortune with his barbershop quartet and Cartman knew nothing about Christianity but “knew enough to exploit it” ("Christian Hard Rock").  He also made a fortune. (His simply took "normal" songs and changed the words I must admit his titles are the funniest: "Touch Me Jesus," "I Found Jesus (With Someone Else),"  "Christ, What a Day," "Three Times My Savior," "Jesus Touched Me" and "I Wasn't Born Again, Yesterday".

 He also showed how easy it was to make salsa music and could dash off several new songs a night.

The best-selling product of the 1950s was Coke Cola, Fred wanted to create a new “Cactus Cola”, but all he did was make Barney invisible or stuck to a bowling ball.  Speaking of drinks, Homer created a drink that made a fortune, but it’s an alcoholic drink (Flaming Moe’s).  Even dumb Homer realised that you couldn’t beat Coke or Pepsi. He and his father created and sold a tonic for sexual potency (imagine Ralph or Fred selling that one?). 

Cartman doesn’t really ‘create’ products – he is a service person and thus demonstrates how further removed we are from the making something to earn something paradigm. Cartman is, at heart, an entrepreneur. 

Entrepreneurship – discovering there is a gap in the market was somewhat problematic for the earlier shows.  But Ralph did try to find a market for “Alice’s” appetizer, unfortunately it was dog food.  Similarly, Fred tries to sell Wilma’s pies but discovers the reality of having to make hundreds of pies.  And of course he fails to do the maths and sells the pies at a loss. 

When Homer discovers dumped beer, he creates an elaborate system to get it to Moe’s during prohibition (Homer versus the 18th Amendment);  he starts a plowing business (“Mr Plow”); sells sugar door to door (but charges three times the supermarket price);  turns their backyard into an amusement park; sells grease but it costs more to get the grease. 

Losing money while trying to make a fortune is the most common mistake: Ralph loses a week's wages when he 'trains' for his quiz show appearance much to Alice's chargrin.  Homer loses money selling rides on Bart’s elephant, and selling grease.  Perhaps the most telling episode is the one in which Bart makes $3000 selling merchandising and access to the $1000 bill he finds. Basically the $1000 note is worth more as an item than for its intrinsic value – that about sums up contemporary society’s relationship with money.  It is fetishized.

Cartman is the best entrepreneur of all and thus reflects the latest generational difference;  he tries to sell stem cells, will sell his organs for the right price, starts a crack baby league, starts the Parental Revenge Centre of Western America to counter act parents attempts to scare children straight. 

There is a fine line between being an entrepreneur and being a businessman.  The former requires someone to take a risk on a new venture, the latter requires taking over an established business or to create a new version of an established business model – buying a franchise or creating a franchise.   In business there is no magic money, it takes years to realise profits. 

Run a business –the characters take over a business to make a million dollars.  Ralph has opens a hot dog stand, tries to run a hotel.  Fred has tried to run a restaurant and open a pool hall.  Homer decides a ice cream van will make him a fortune;  even Marge has a go at a pretzel franchise.  Cartman opens a detective agency; works as Token’s agent; starts a home shopping network to separate the elderly from their money. Fred, Homer and Cartman have all tried to run theme parks. 

Miscellaneous – this category is a grab bag for the most recent ways that the characters try to make their millions of dollars.  Foremost is the thought that people can sue someone for an ‘injury’ to make a million bucks--Homer sues Burns for running over Bart, successfully sues Rev Lovejoy and Bart sues his father for his earnings as a child actor.  None of them are successful, of course, mainly because they forget the huge lawyer’s fees.  

 Homer tries a variety of jobs that demonstrate how the world has changed new ideas

Sells photos of celebrities

Tries to write a hit 'tween' book

Declares bankruptcy- to rid himself of debt

Tries to sell Bart to Burns as his heir

Similarly Cartman tries to sell body organs and aborted foetuses – clearly these are new ways to make money. 

Buying stocks and shares are added to the make money quick portfolio.  Homer sells his power plant shares, buys shares in new technology, and even pumpkin futures.  Of course he loses money. Perhaps the most telling way of making money is using hone equity.  While this isn’t a get rich quick scheme , it does demonstrate how different money is money, 

It seems incredible to the modern viewer that the Kramdens rented their apartment…in none of the episodes I watched did they discuss the possibility of owning a place or using money to get a mortgage.  Only a few years later, Fred Flintstone does have a mortgage—he states his payments are his bowling ball (!), his car and his house.  Fred is always aware that he has to make his mortgage payment.  Not so Homer. After losing all his money in the stock market, he borrows the mortgage payment from  Patty and Selma; he has given the house deeds and savings to a cult; taken a fifth mortgage on the house to buy a computer; remortgaged his house to invest in Moe’s bar. In a few decades television characters have moved from renting a one-bedroom apartment to mortgaging a two story house and to using that mortgage to lever more money.  It is a scheme and the “rich” part is supposedly the equity in your home.  Of course the GFC demonstrated that this is no better than any get rich quick scheme.   

Why do they dream of quick money?

Because the characters are typical men struggling to support their families.  The one most obvious thing to me when I first started watching The Honeymooners was how spartan Ralph Kramden’s apartment was.  The Honeymooners was one of the first television sitcoms and Jackie Gleason became famous for his rendition of Ralph Kramden, trying to get ahead in life.  The wilder the schemes the funnier the show.  If you don’t know the Honeymooners, as I didn’t, go to YouTube and do a search. Many of the episodes are up there.  Ralph drives a bus, Fred works in a gravel pit and Homer spends time at a nuclear power plant. 

How are they “working class”?  None of them have university degrees; they come from the school of hard knocks.  They spend much of their lives balancing a hatred of their boss with the fear of losing their jobs. They bowl (what is it with bowling?), play pool, drink (though that isn’t shown much on television), and gamble (on horses and lotteries and not in casinos or slot machines).  They are loud and aggressive.  But this is where the similarities pretty much end. 

Whereas Ralph and Fred are members of fraternities (Water Buffaloes or the Racoon Lodge),  Homer is more a loner – his fraternity is the crew at Moe’s.  In fact he drinks more than his forebears.  Homer doesn’t have an Ed Norton or a Barney Rubble – compliant sidekicks; Homer’s neighbour is the righteous Ned Flanders.  Homer Simpson is lazy, bone lazy – Fred and Ralph are energetic men.  Homer was ‘born’ in the 1980s, the me decade, and thus he is intellectually and physically lazy.  Rarely does he try to impress his boss or improve his lot (he has been fired multiple times and has held nearly 200 jobs in the twenty years of the show) – if he needs money he is more likely to borrow from his sisters-in-law or from a bank than to earn it. 

Homer: Family meeting!  Family meeting! Okay, people, let's keep this short.  We all want to get home to our families.  All right, first item:  I lost our life savings in the stock market.  Now let's move on to the real issue:  Lisa's hogging of the maple syrup.

Lisa: Well, maybe if Mom didn't make such dry waffles.  There, I said it.

Marge: Well, maybe if you'd eat some meat you'd have a natural lubricant. You lost all our money?

Homer: Point of order -- I didn't lose *all* the money.  There was enough left for this cowbell.  Damn you, eBay! (HOMR),

 Though he clearly cannot manage his money But their homes differ wildly – though he earns only $25K per year he has a two storey house with a double garage. 

He is always one pay cheque away from bankruptcy.  He does not have enough money for Christmas presents (Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire);  has poor credit (“Call of the Simpsons”);  has to cheat insurance to pay for hair formula (“Simpson and Death”); has to get illegal cable (“Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment”); sells Bart’s blood in the hope of gain (“Blood Feud”); can’t afford to pay for SLH’s operation (“Dog of Death”); can’t pay parking fines (The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson); cannot afford school fees for Lisa (“Lisa's Sax”); can’t pay for house repairs (“Marge Gets a Job“); can’t afford braces for Lisa (Last Exit to Springfield). When he applies for bankruptcy he discovers the laws have changed and in fact his wages will be garnisheed.  Homer Simpson is the cartoon descendant of Ralph and Fred.  He lives in the suburbs like Fred;  but he has a much larger house , two cars and a bigger family.  The Simpson’s lifestyle is somewhat out of step with Homer’s income;  he earns about $25K per year  which means about $18,833.88 after deductions (“Much Apu About Nothing” Sex Pies and Idiot Scapes). Because his income is not in line with his lifestyle, he frequently he cannot afford to pay for what are now considered the basics:  cable (Homer and the 18^th Amendment), a vet bill (Dog of Death), an operation (Homer’s Triple Bypass), bowling fees (Team Homer); a home security system (The Cartridge Family), cell phone, and accommodation while the house is fumigated (Helter Shelter), 

Credit as Conspicuous Consumption

Comparing the television shows really demonstrates how much family finances have changed.  The Kramdens have NO electrical appliances – yes Alice does not have a fridge, a vacuum cleaner or a stove – she reminds Ralph that their electricity bill is 39 cents for the month and that they haven’t changed a fuse in ten years.  On the other hand, the Nortons live well, their apartment is brightly decorated and much more like contemporary living spaces. .  But Ed’s ‘wealth’ comes from hire purchase (or time payments) – Ed has to pay for the 18 items each week and it worries him.

 The Flintstones have a plethora of appliances—but they are not electrical.  In fact Bedrock seems to run on “slave” labour.  They do the household chores but are ‘free’.  In a recent episode of The Simpsons, Homer learns the magic of credit cards – you can get anything you like for ‘free’ and return it when you no longer need it…he fills his room with useless items BUT he does not take the tags of them.  He simply buys them for buying sake and to show off to his friends.  Suddenly appliances and “stuff” are no longer labour saving devices, they are fetished, items useful for demonstrating wealth. 

Perhaps no one describes this situation better than Homer’s enemy, Grimes (go here for the YouTube version of the speech below).  Grimes has struggles to make his way through life and is infuriated at Homer’s success – his speech is a metaphor for how the world possibly feels about the United States? : 

Grimes:   How do you do.  Uh, look Homer, I'm, I'm late for my night job at the foundry so if you don't mind telling m-- Good Heavens!  This is a palace!  H-How can, how in the world

can you afford to live in a house like this, Simpson?

Homer:    I dunno.  Don't as me how the economy works.

Grimes:   Yeah, but look at the size of this place!  I -- I live in a  single room above a bowling alley and below another bowling alley.

Homer:    Wow.

Grimes: I'm sorry, isn't that ...

Homer:    Yes, that's me, and the guy standing next to me is President Gerald Ford.   [gestures to other photos] And this is when I was on tour with the Smashing Pumpkins.  Oh!  And here's a picture of me in outer space.

Grimes:   You?  Went into outer space?  You?

Homer:    Sure.  You've never been?  Would you like to see my Grammy award?

Grimes:   No!  I wouldn't! God, I've had to work hard every day of my life, and what do I have to show for it?  This briefcase and this haircut!  And what do you have to show for your lifetime of sloth and ignorance?

Homer:    What?

Grimes:   Everything!  A dream house!  Two cars!  A beautiful wife!  A son who owns a factory!  Fancy clothes and [sniffs air] lobsters for dinner.  And do you deserve any of it?  No!

Homer:    What are you saying?

Grimes:   I'm saying you're what's wrong with America, Simpson.  You coast through life, you do as little as possible, and you leech off of decent, hardworking people like me.  Heh, if you lived in any other country in the world, you'd have starved to death long ago.

Cheers

T